Krishnan's Personal Website

The past few weeks have felt like living through a whirlwind. After the cyclone flooded our home, everything felt chaotic and overwhelming. Cleaning the house was a monumental task—days of scrubbing, tossing ruined belongings, and slowly piecing together what was left. But now, as I write this, things finally feel different.  

The house is clean. The walls, which were a week ago streaked with dirt and water stains, have been repainted. They now gleam with a fresh coat, as if they, too, are ready for a fresh start. The furniture, after a thorough varnishing, looks almost new. For the first time in weeks, I can walk through my home and not feel the weight of the flood bearing down on me.  

But it’s still empty. The rooms feel spacious, yet hollow—a stark reminder of all that we lost. Despite this, last weekend brought a sense of renewal I hadn’t expected.  

It was Karthigai Deepam, one of my favorite South Indian festivals. This day is all about light—oil lamps glowing inside and outside homes, symbolizing hope, renewal, and positivity. I was hesitant at first. With my house so empty, would celebrating even feel the same? But as I began lighting the lamps, something magical happened.  

The flickering flames cast a warm glow against the freshly painted walls. Despite the emptiness of the rooms, the house didn’t feel barren anymore. It felt peaceful. It felt alive. The soft light of the lamps reflected not just on the walls but within me. For the first time since the cyclone, I felt a glimmer of hope—a realization that things were starting to get back to normal.  

A Small Step Toward Normalcy  

While the festival brought a sense of peace, life after a disaster is still a work in progress. With most of my clothes ruined in the flood, I finally decided to buy a new pair of jeans. It might seem like a small thing, but for me, it was symbolic. Putting on those jeans felt like putting on a piece of my old life again—a reminder that while I’ve lost so much, I’m also moving forward.  

Walking through the house that evening, wearing my new jeans and seeing the lamps glowing, I felt something I hadn’t felt in weeks: gratitude. Gratitude for the small victories—clean walls, repaired furniture, and a festival that reminded me of the resilience I didn’t know I had.  

Looking Ahead  

The house still isn’t fully furnished, and we’re far from where we were before the flood. But as I sat down that evening, surrounded by the soft glow of the lamps, I realized that rebuilding isn’t just about replacing what’s lost. It’s about finding beauty in the process, even when it’s hard.  

Karthigai Deepam this year was more than a festival—it was a turning point. A reminder that even in the darkest times, light has a way of breaking through. The house may be empty, but it no longer feels hopeless. It feels ready.